When it’s not rigged as a whale-killing weapon, the toaster in our galley takes just two slices of bread at a time, toasting only one side of each slice at a time. To toast the other side you’ve got to turn the slice over then put the sucker back in the damn toaster. It takes exactly one minute to toast one side. Now, say you’ve got a missile about to be launched at you from a Tortolan navy destroyer. The missile will hit your deck in three minutes and fifteen seconds. You need to get the crap into your lifeboat (it takes fifteen seconds to get to it from the galley), but you still want breakfast. You want to toast both sides of three pieces of bread. Here's the question: Can you do it in three minutes or less? If so, how? Or, if you try, will you end up toast yourself?

First right answer (along with an explanation as to why, potential wiseguys) and you've got yourself a scrimshaw.

Meanwhile,will me and my crew stop farting around with these puzzles and kill us whale?