Why's an out of shape, one-armed man heaving a harpoon? For the long answer, seeblubberybastard.tripod.com/blog/ The short answer: cause my regular harpooner, Flarq, was busy scrimshawing (and probably wanted to show me in mid-wheeze, so I'll stick to my regular job). He also scrimshawed Col. Mustard, as a prize for his answers to my quizzes:

Speaking of which, if you can guess where Flarq's name comes from, he'll scrimshaw you (or someone you want to humiliate). Oh, you have to guess it right. And "his parents" is not the right answer.