Nelson claims to have salvaged antique pirate shirts from the wreck of a pirate ship off the coast of Pensacola, Florida. I think what really happened was he got them from a shirt company, but, being drunk, remembers it slightly different. In either case, we’re selling the things for $9.99. See the blarg for details or buy through his sales agent,Dealer Dan’s Illegal Munitions Plus’s Online Store. The proceeds are going to charity (also detailed on the blarg), and we’re working on more piratic swag too. Bard’s "Put A Pirate In Your Pants" undershorts idea was so good we are afraid orders would disrupt the mail service to the extent that it could jeapordize our democracy, but we're trying to work it out. Details to follow.